Suffering fools.

I ran again today!
Boing boing boing!

Turn off your minds, class: It's quiz time.
I went back today, in keeping with the theme of this post, and re-read a live blog of the Oscars written for Community Newspaper Co.'s Wicked Local Web site by the pseudonymical Eddie Shoebang.
(Senor Shoebang advertised that he was "live blogging the Oscars with a head full of rage and Jack Daniels." Just so you know in advance, it was all gonzo and Hunter Thompsonish and filled with burly, Glock-toting Asiatic attorneys. That kinda trip. Just so you know.)

Anyway, I came up with an idea.
I'm gonna give you a list of statements.
I want you (the reader) to see if you can guess how many of them were written by Mr. Shoebang on Oscar night, and how many of them were written by Kinky Paprika on trash-and-recycling night.
In other words, can you tell the Newspaper-Provided Value-Added Content from the pure howling bullshit?

Let's see. And no fair peeking -- though I'll give you the link for later reference.
(Tell you what: I'll also leave the answers in the Comments section of this post. Don't look there either.)

1. I’m glad to see Owen Wilson. And why isn’t he good enough for Kate Hudson? Whatever. She makes crappy movies anyway.
2. I resist breaking the seal.
3. Dude, Mickey Rooney is still ALIVE?
4. Screw you academy for dissing “Knocked Up.”
5. Mum sees the bottle of Jack Daniels and says I’m gonna die if I take one drop.
6. OMG!!!!!! Javiar Bardem!!!!!!!
7. “Gone with the Wind” was in color, but they still made movies in black and white afterwards?
8. Man oh man, soaking your nutsack in a bowl of Grape Nehi sure is a zero-sum game.
9. BTW when you’re buzzed, the Oscars just fly by.
10. And finally, my Oscar speech: I’d like to thank Jack Daniels for getting me through the night, my parents for giving me a room to live, Nintendo for making the Wii, and my girlfriend who gave me some afternoon delight earlier. Thanks for reading. I’m gonna pass out now.